Alright, to be completely honest, I SUCK AT BLOGGING.

I can’t seem to keep a regularly updated blog going for more than a few days. I’ve tried this, tumblr, xanga, and blogger. The only thing that I can keep going, is facebook and twitter.

But i’m revamping myself and this blog and I’m going to attempt to keep this going. Right now, i don’t really have any plans for this blog. I don’t have an interesting enough life to sit and rant about my troubled family life or my extreme college partying.

Not to sound too cliché, or emotional, but these years have been rough. Teenagers always go through a lot of shit over the years. You lose friends, family, yourself. You make new friends, you are introduced to the rest of your life, you pass and fail.

And i feel like before i can start looking up, i have to hit bottom.

As of right now, I am happy. It’s not that kind of happy

I want to be happy because other people are happy. I want to see someone do an amazing job at something, and know that i’m happy because they are happy. I don’t care if it’s a picture someone drew, or a song that someone sings. I don’t care if it’s a coin collection, or a cooking magazine. I just want to be happy for them, without having to find something in myself to be content with.

I don’t know if I’ve been a good person my entire life. I don’t know if i still am, or not. But i want to be, I want to be good. I know so many people who just have like this awesome “do good” lifestyle and i know i might not compare to them, but i’d like to try. I want to go back to church, and i’m not sure why i stopped. Sometimes, i believe it’s because i couldn’t force myself to get up at 8am every sunday, other times it’s because i hated seeing the same people asking for the same things. I didn’t feel as close to god as i should have in a church. I felt like it was more of a routine than anything. But i want to feel close to that again.  And it’s not because i want to secure myself in the long run. It’s because those people who do have good hearts and souls. It’ because if i don’t start doing something now, then i’m going to regret who i was and am now.

I know i’ll never be able to talk about the things that hurt me the most. And i think that’s how it should be.  I want to say only that I’m still angry and that i still find fault with everything that has happened. I don’t think i’ll ever be okay with what happened. I don’t think it was right, and i never will.

I’ve never tried to be someone who you would like. I have my own interests and my own ideas and thoughts and i never want to be someone you would like, unless that’s who i genuinely am. It’s not okay to pretend to be someone, and the more you sit there and judge me and think i’m trying to impress you, the further away you get from who i am. Maybe i’m just like you, and you find it hard to believe, but this is it. this is who I am. And i’d like to tell you to take a hike if you don’t like me, but at the same time i’d rather just be friends than have to deal with someone who got away.

This is a revamp. This is what happened when i turned 19 and started over. I think this is going to last.

get your tickets now!

It’s that time of year again, to go to the AP tour!

I’ll be at the Pittsburgh show!

I’ve learned some really intense things over the past year. I mean, sure i’ve learned some educational facts and all that jazz, but 2009 was a huge year of learning for me.

I’ve learned: make friends with those who will stick with you at a party, be civil with your roommate, sit next to cute boys in class, say things that are smart,clever,meaningful and honest. Make sure that you don’t forget who you are. High school is so small and insignificant. College matters. Your future matters.

Really crazy things that happened: The deaths of MJ, Patrick, Farrah, and Brittany. It’s crazy how many celebrities died this year. I mean, the whole kayne west/taylor swift thing. Tiger woods has 3285903285 girlfriends, Obama is elected for president, Adam Lambert went crazy.

It’s been a crazy year, and an awesome, yet slightly sucky year. But things will get better, they always do. It’s been a good one, and definitely one you’ll look back on!

love,

chelle

Overall, i think you have to look at every year as a pretty good year. Sure, it might not have been the best, but you’re alive and you’re breathing and life is going on. That’s pretty fabulous if you ask me. For me, 2009 might have been my biggest year. A lot of milestone things happened that are definitely note-worthy.

1. I turned 18: It might not sound like a huge deal, but being 18 is being an official “adult.” It’s not a huge deal in other states, but in good ol’ Pennsylvania, you can buy lottery tickets, and drive after 11pm. haha.

2. I graduated high school:  I’ve been in the public school system for over 12 years. the more i think about it, the more i realize that I’ve been in school for the better part of my life. If the world were to end right now, i would have nothing to show for it, other than my education. Graduating high school was a huge deal for me. I grew up. I got out of this town, and moved away to go to college. And at the same time that i was so incredibly happy, i realized that I left behind everything and everyone important in my life. The friends I’ve had, the people who have made impressions, everything. I was no long tied down to this town. And it’s both scary, and exhilarating.

3.I’ve accomplished a few things in the media: This is so creepy and kind of ridiculous, but I’ve actually had some fame-worthy experiences. haha. I’ve hung out with a few bands here and there, in the backyard streets of diesel, talking about music and ending up on their blog. I’ve been on MTV’s It’s on with Alexa Chung, talking about my cat pretending he is a sweater. I appeared on the credits  list of Paranormal Activity for demanding it in Pennsylvania. haha awesome.

That’s all for now, I’ll continue when I’m not being sucked in to Xbox games with the family. awesome.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE.
(in about 15 minutes, it will be Christmas, and I will be stoked!)

So, in honor of Christmas, I feel it’s necessary to promote the following message: You know that really awesome sweater you have that doesn’t fit you anymore? Yeah, well instead of throwing it away, why don’t you take it down and donate it to the SALVATION ARMY. All proceeds the Salvation Army collects go directly to the funding of the Adult Rehabilitation program. It’s really easy to donate, and it really does help people who are less fortunate. Last year I helped out with the Christmas drive that they held which gives toys, wrapping supplies, and food to  less fortunate people around the holidays. It’s an awesome place to donate! Go to satruckk.org to find a Salvation Army location/truck near you.

Alright, so if you’re not busy donating items to the Salvation Army and other awesome charitable associations, then you should probably be spending time with your family and friends. Christmas Eve is my second favorite holiday (obviously thanksgiving rates number 1). I think it’s my second favorite because my family’s awesome cooking skills. I know how everyone thinks that their mom is best cook, but my mom and my grandma are the greatest cooks on this side of Pennsylvania. I encourage you to venture to my lovely house, and experience this food. it’s amazing.

Oh look at that, 3 minutes until Christmas. time for my tangent.

I have this really huge obsession with a) A Rocket to the Moon,  b)Really awful scary movies and c)CATS.

a) A Rocket to the Moon: If you haven’t heard of them, open a new tab and youtube their music. It’s incredible. I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed a fueledbyramen band more than  I enjoy listening to them. I’m a sucker some acoustic brilliance, and this band has it. Nick Santino is like a faux-ginger God. It’s ridiculous how good they are. go listen! now now now.

b) Really Awful Scary Movies: Haven’t you ever just picked up a movie someone said was fabulous, only to find out that it was a shit movie? yes, yes you have. I know i have. I rented Silent hill the other day, which one of my friends claimed to be the best movie of the decade. It blew. It was actually kind of funny that a movie could be so ridiculous. So I got to thinking, this can’t be the only movie to be a complete disgrace to the horror genre. So now I’m on a quest to watch ridiculous scary movies, and rate how awful they are. It’s this weird obsession, and i managed to convince my grandma to go on this crazy mission with me. AWESOME.

C) Cats: my grandma bought me a blanket with 3058902385 cat pictures on it. CATS. It was probably the best christmas gift, ever. I freaking love cats. haha enough said

12:04am: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I’ll see you later.

That is all.

So, as i somewhat mentioned, my first semester in college is coming to an end. Over the next two weeks, I will have earned 17 credits at the University of Pittsburgh in the School of Arts and Sciences. I guess i feel a sense of accomplishment. I mean, I’m not in high school anymore, and no one gives a shit if I make it or not in college. I’ve pushed myself beyond belief to finish this semester. I originally came into college as a potential biology major. However, I soon discovered that my love for biology was as shallow as a kiddie pool. Don’t get me wrong, i love learning about the immune system and how complex our bodies are, but i would rather cut out my eye than learn about plant defense mechanisms. I also found out that i’m not really good at biology. I can memorize the shit out of my bio book, but when it comes to application, I’m pretty intellectually inadequate. So, I dropped my bio major and decided to pursue a psychology major, which i hands down love, by the way. I’m going to do research on the brain activity in patients who suffer from multiple personality disorder, which will take me to PITT AT LONDON my junior year, hopefully.

If there is one thing i’ve discovered about college, it’s that it’s a lot harder than it looks. sure, waking up whenever you want isn’t that bad, and partying sounds pretty fun, but it’s a lot of work. You live off of easy mac, you don’t have an oven, your mom doesn’t do your laundry, your roommate snores, your best friend has found a new best friend, and hookups are the only acceptable form of a relationship. Not to mention, you devote your time to primarily studying and finding “your spot” in the campus library. It’s a huge wakeup call.

Alright, to kind of go in the opposite direction….WHO IS PSYCHED FOR CHRISTMAS????

I am.

Literally, i am more excited about christmas than anything in my entire life. I think i’ve always loved christmas, but now that i live in the city and see how pretty the city lights are, I have a better appreciation for it. I’ve been listening to christmas music non-stop and i’ve also been tuning into ABC family’s 25 days of christmas! It’s cold where i’m at right now, and snowy, and i’m so ready for it to be christmas. In addition, I’m so excited to go home and spend time with my family. I love my family so much, and i love being with them and being home. I cannot wait for christmas cookies and christmas dinner and seeing old friends.

That is it for tonight. Finals week is approaching, and i’m pretty nervous, but for right now, i’m doing okay.

I love life, my friends, my family, my college, everything.

Goodnight you crazy hucklebucks.

Alright, i would also like to discuss my new found love for Spock. Okay, i’ll admit that i’m partially in love with Zach Quinto, which might fuel my love for spock, since he plays him in the 2009 Star Trek movie. Seriously, give me that man with his spock ears and my life will be complete. But seriously, i enjoyed spock so much more in this new movie. He’s a ladies man, for sure, because he’s got that whole “I’m half human” thing going for him. And he’s kind of badass. I mean he’s all about the math and science and being a “nerd,” but at the same time, he’s over there strangling kirk. Badass Vulcan.

Alright, I think i’ll focus the rest of this post on this past week, and Thanksgiving/Black Friday.

I was almost positive that college holidays were going to be 10 times better than high school holidays. Unfortunately, I still have the same days off as my high school, and I had to share them with some kids i used to know, and my crazy relatives. This week was honestly insane. I made it home from college on monday night at 9pm, after driving from Oakland. I walked inside only to realize that my entire family was borderline shit faced drunk. It’s awesome walking in at 9pm and seeing an empty case of beer.

Tuesday, I picked up the album, “friday” by Forever the Sickest Kids. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think they are a fantastic band with really catchy songs,  and insanely attractive band members, but this album completely blows. There is nothing WORSE than picking up an album, only to realize that there are only 6 songs on it.  They sucked me into buying with the phrase “Part 1 of the weekend series” which, at the time, made me believe that the other 6 or 7 songs were making their way onto another album in the next week or so. In reality, those 6 or 7 songs may not make it out until next year. To be honest, that 8 dollars was not well spent. I could have bought a cheap 90′s movie with that 8 dollars. That would have lasted me longer than 6 songs.

Wednesday was Thanksgiving pre-gaming.  We basically cleaned every surface in my house in order to make room for the mass amounts of food that would come out of my kitchen on Thursday. Pre-gaming is a huge event in my house. It’s an all day event which i like to refer to as Thanksgiving eve. Granted, there are no presents, but i mean, the joy that comes with anticipating thanksgiving is enough for me. Alright, I know what you’re thinking…”This girl is an obese creeper who loves food a little too much…what is she, 400 pounds?”
The answer is no, I am not 400 pounds, or anywhere close to it. haha, and I don’t love all food that much. My entire family is really into cooking and baking. they have their own cookbooks and all that jazz, so the food that comes out of our kitchen is fantastic.

Thanksgiving Thursday was awesome. Tons of food, tons of drunken relatives. Football, movies, planning for christmas…you name it. However, thursday also involved a semi-traumatic family experience. My betta fish tried to commit suicide. First off, my relatives are a bit senile, to say the least. My fish was sitting on the halfwall that separates my kitchen and living room, in a cup because his bowl had a crack in it. So my grandpap thought it was his glass, and started to make a drink with my fish…..my mom thought he put alcohol in it, so she dumped my fish in a ladle. She then put him back in another cup and placed him on my dresser in my room.

If there is one thing to note about bettas, it’s that they freak out when you place them in front of a mirror. It’s ridiculous. Without thinking, guess where my mom put my betta…….

in front of a mirror.

I had no idea, so i didn’t think about checking on him before going to my grandma’s house. When i returned home 2 hours later, i found out that my fish propelled himself out of the cup, onto the floor of my bedroom. For 2 hours, my fish was cocooned in dust underneath my dresser. I had to get my brother to pick him up from underneath it. We then presumed he was dead, but my brother thought it would be fun to put him in a cup instead of flushing it…..the fish started swimming as soon as he hit the water……it was a miracle…..

We then realized we were out of water conditioner, so we got in the car and drove to WALMART in the middle of the night….like crazy walmart customers. To make a long story short, my fish survived, and is now safe in my dorm room.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all meshed together with never-ending football games and drunken parties. It was a great time.

Have a good night wordpress…LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

oh, and a side note: happy 22nd birthday Dougie. I hope it was as amazing as you.

When I was younger, maybe 14 or 15, I didn’t expect things to be like this–especially college.

I mean, I obviously knew that college was going to be a lot harder than anything I was used to, and it was going to challenge me in ways that i had never been challenged. But i never expected it to show no mercy or forgiveness at all. College isn’t all parties and “the best time of your life.” Sure, there are parties, some that are really great and fun, and some that have sweaty frat guys trying to get up on you. But college, for the most part, is academics. Professors don’t give a shit what other classes you have, so they treat you like you only have their class. That means you’re always knee-deep in endless work. Now take into account that you’re not only doing ALL of that class’s work, but you’re doing that much work for EVERY CLASS. Now, imagine taking 5 or 6 classes. It’s rough. It’s honestly like being up shit creek without a paddle.

I’ve always been a straight-a student. I took AP courses. I was on the honor roll every semester, and I graduated as an honor grad in the top 15% of my class of 500 kids. For the most part, I would say i was pretty gifted in the academic department.

And then i get to college, and i’m struggling for a B. All i want in my life is to actually just PASS biology. That’s my realistic goal. It’s  really awful right now, and i’m looking like I wasn’t ready for college. This semester has legitimately kicked my ass, but that’s the way freshman year goes. You start realizing that you’re not going to be the smartest kid anymore. Instead, there are 300 kids who are just as smart, and they are sitting right next to you in lecture.

It’s pretty disgusting and not fun. It makes me upset that i’m not getting A’s, and i’m working my ass off. But, luckily the quote, “C’s get Degrees!” is making me feel better.

Have a wonderful night, even if you’re failing classes.

No, i know what you’re thinking, “she wants to be a myspace whore.” No, not at all. In fact, if i ever have the “myspace whore” title, i encourage you to come to my house, if you happen to know where that is at, and punch me in the throat. I’m not looking for online publicity of shameless self-promoting. I actually would like to be known for the words that come out of my mouth. Not insults, or misconceptions, or judgments, or anything. I’m actually a firm believer in Psalm 19:14, which says, “May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be pleasing in your sight, O lord, my rock, my redeemer.” I’d like to be know as someone who has inspirational things to say that will honestly make someone’s life slightly better.

I think we’ve all been in those situations, where all you need to hear is someone tell you that you’re great, that you are good at who you are, and that you’re going to be okay. I mean, right now, i’m sitting here typing this blog while studying for my third Biology test. I’m at a pretty low spot right now, after attempting to memorize and sift through biology jargon that makes no sense at all. I need someone to tell me that I’m smart, and that I can get a fairly high-grade. You know? I could be that for people.

hmmmph.

Maybe i’ll have something more to say about this, whenever my mind isn’t focused on Biology.

Have a lovely evening, and remember, Life doesn’t happen to everyone, so enjoy it.